So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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