Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
