grandma shit on top of the toilet
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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