So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
