belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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