I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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