Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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