i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
