He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
