I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
