Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
