I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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