we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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