Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Randomize
