I CAN MOONWALK!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
