Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
