i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
