every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
