The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
