thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
