Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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