Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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