my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Panties = found
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
