I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This is classic penis vs brain.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
