Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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