Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
