hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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