why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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