you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
