in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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