Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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