I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
