i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Brb crying the tears of my youth
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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