I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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