How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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