That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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