is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
NoShamevember. You game?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
