I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
