i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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