Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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