Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
