i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
