Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
