Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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