Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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