If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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