she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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