we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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