I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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