mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
